winter bliss
by varis
Summary: you get to interpret this text as you wish


Harry lay silent in his bed, it was 3 o´clock in the morning. Yet another sleepless night. It was Christmas holiday and apart from a few members of the staff he was alone in the huge castle. Deprived of any social activities he felt himself getting more and more depressed by each passing day.  
  
Now he felt he needed something, something to help him cope with the loneliness, the constant remindering that he had no one to care for him, no family to love him. Moreover he felt that he had no real friends left either. Every time he had performed some heroic deed that had lifted him to the spotlight he had felt the distance between himself and his friend Ron grow larger,finally there had been a parting of ways six months ago. Without the support of his best friend Harry had been having a hard time the past few months. Hermione although intellectually more of an equal to him than Ron had ever been had also started to find new friends and he had been seeing less and less of her. No one seemed capable of dealing with his dim outlook on life for more than short periods of time. It had become apparent to Harry that he himself was the cause of his loneliness but he was yet to find a way to improve the situation.  
  
Harry sat cross legged on his bed and watched the pale blue moonlight dance with the shadows, forming hideous but at the same time beautiful patterns on the wall. He felt he could not fight the cravings any longer. It began as a cold shaky feeling at the base of his spine that slowly spread to the rest of his body. This was followed by a terrible pounding in his ears and finally a feeling of panic and disorientation. Beads of sweat were clinging to his forehead and only one thought entered his mind. It was time.  
  
Slowly he got up from his bead, it seemed the whole world was spinning. He tried to walk but his legs would not carry him and he fell to his knees. The shadows seemed to surround him, urging him to go on. He crawled, he knew where he had to go. This was a ritual he had performed countless times before. He crawled to the darkest corner of the room, here the moonlight dared not follow, this was his own secret domain, his own kingdom in a world he felt had rejected him. As he got closer to the wall his level of excitement increased and his heart began to race. He felt the wall, cold and hard, he began to climb it. Each slow movement caused him excruciating pain but he cared not. He climbed the wall like a dirty little cockroach trying to escape the openness of the surrounding room.  
  
When he had reached a sufficient height he attached himself to the wall and hung himself upside down from it, his face against the cold, grey surface of the stone. And there in the shadows he waited. He waited for the cloud, he waited for it to come and carry him away. He didn´t care what kind it was he just wanted it to hurry up.  
  
He waited for what felt like hours, his own breath was the only thing braking the silence, and then it came. First he could hear its rumble, it was a dark cloud. Very dark, but he was desperate. The cloud started to seep trough the cracks in the floor and the windows. Its darkness started to fill the room, it seemed it was flowing out of the walls themselves. It flooded the room from every angel. It wasn´t just dark it was a storm, but it was to late to bak down now and even if he would have been able to Harry was to intoxicated with excitement to even consider it. This was it. He could feel the storms electricity tingle, it opened itself to him and he stepped onboard.  
  
It took hold of him, engulfed him in its rage. It lifted him through the castle walls upwards towards the dark and beautiful sky.  
  
He lay within it, suspended in the air by its magical power. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as the wind howled trough his head. He understands nothing but the storm. The noise grows to a symphony painful pleasure. Louder and louder, carrying him further away. Lightning bolts whip his limp body, the raging wind starts tossing him around. He can´t take it any more but the storm doesn´t care. It screams, gets out of control, it spins around in a chaos of madness and torturous rips.  
  
Finally it it releases him just as he is about to explode. It tosses him away and he falls towards the awaiting earth. He hits the roof of the castle and crashes trough it, he hits the floor of his room with a tremendous force.  
  
He lies for a while trying to catch his breath. His mind is blank and he feels exhausted. With great difficulty he makes his way to his bed. Ah blissful sleep, he can´t remember the last time he truly slept. Without a word or thought he falls on the bed and enters a well deserved state of coma like sleep, where in his dreams he finally finds something that might resemble happiness.  
  
As the room fades to silence our hero lay motionless on his throne of bliss, happily unaware of any of the loneliness he had felt.  
  
Please give feed-back and remember to keep an open mind.  
Chris 


End file.
